As always, my disclaimer: my blog, my opinion, my life. Do with that nugget what you wish.
I can't gather enough facts and read enough information to begin covering my arguments here. Some people call that being at a loss for words.
I am having a flashback to that scene in 8 mile where Eminem raps about all of his faults and then says "here, tell these bums something they don't know about me." Stay with me. You will see where I am going with this crazy train.
Here goes nothing.
I had all intentions of crunchy/hippie parenting. It's evidenced in the pregnancy announcement blog (A word from our sponsors). Shelby from 2013 said: "we will cloth diaper, breastfeed, extended rear face, baby wear..." Etc. Well you know what Shelby from 2013? Go ahead and sit your ass down and shut up.
Fast forward to having a child and here is what I know now. Cloth diapering is hard work but it saves us money. Yep, there sure are a lot of chemicals in disposables and yes they sure do hold a lot of pee. So guess what? We use them at night and sometimes on the weekend or throughout the week with Lily. Why? Because parenting is hard and when both parents work, there is not enough time in the day to make sure laundry is done. This is not the game of pokemon and I will not waste my money trying to catch all of the colors/styles of cloth diapering. Believe it or not back in the day, parents cloth diapered because disposables were not in the budget. And way back in the day people cloth diapered because disposables were not invented. I may not be helping the ecosystem or landfills or whatever but I sure as hell am helping my sanity. I cloth diaper because when the budget is tight one month I know my daughters butt will always be covered and clean. I now know that both options are feasible and by pushing cloth on people, it only turns them away. Who sees them anyways? Do cloth addicts actually show off their stock of cloth? Stop.
Breastfeeding never happened because I didn't produce anything. I am so glad other moms are able to give their child their boobie juice...really. But shut the hell up about it okay? We get it. You are able to squeeze milk out and provide for your baby, as you should. You chose to bring him in to this world so guess what, you get to feed him. But you don't see moms who formula feed their child posting about formula feeding and to 'normalize' formula feeding. And to have a formula 'sit in'. You can go ahead and pipe down with that mess. Publix gives out free cookies to anyone who asks. Go ahead and pop in and grab one to congratulate yourself.
I swear I almost wasted hundreds of dollars to wear my child vs. carrying her in my own arms. I was at the store with my card ready to be swiped and everything. But shelby, how do you clean your house or go to the grocery store or park? Thanks for asking, I carry her. In my arms. Or when she was really small I once put her in my jacket and zipped her up inside and held her butt with her head resting on my chest. And now that she is older, she is learning that the vacuum is not so scary and neither is the broom. She learned and is still learning not to be in the bathroom when mommy is cleaning with chemicals (all of which are out of reach, in case I even needed to state that). When we are at the store, if they don't have a buggy, then yes, she is in my arms or her fathers. I can have a handful of family members vouch and say she is heavy but I don't feel it anymore because with each pound she gains the stronger my arms get. And guess what? I saved $200 by not buying in to the gimmick that wearing a baby strengthens the relationship and bond because they are always close to you. The bond between Lily and her father is incredibly strong and she will go to him first any day over me because he just holds her more.
My child forward faces and I love it. Obviously she was rear facing until 20lbs. And guess what we got to hear for many of car rides? Screaming. Bloody murder screaming. Give her a bottle? Sure. You give a baby with teeth a 'real feel' nipple bottle while they are rear facing. My moms coworker learned what could happen with her own grandchild real fast. Her grandchild bit a piece of the nipple off and began silent choking. But shelby, thats what mirrors are for. Yep. They sure are. And why are you staring at your baby instead of keeping your eyes on the road? But shelby, her vertebrae could snap in an accident. It sure can. Calm down car seat nazi. That is the unfortunate and scary part of parenting is wanting to always keep your nugget safe. Your three year old looks real comfortable sitting criss cross applesauce in pictures. Go ahead and film them on a family road trip for me. After the first hour of tossing toys to him to amuse him you will have nothing left but hopes that he falls asleep. The side of any car seat also reads that a child should not be rear facing in the front seat of a truck as well. And guess how many car seat nazis have a truck as their only means of transportation. Just stating facts.
Making our own baby food was a bust as well. The "all organic for babies" is a joke. You go ahead and spend your precious days making their food and freezing it in little trays. Who has time for that? When they get older do you know what they will put in their mouths? Their own poop, dog poop, cat poop, dirt, grass, bugs, toilet water. Just to name a few. All of which my child has done. I'd say she has a pretty healthy immune system by now. She eats fruits and veggies for the most part and on the days when mom and dad are sick and tired of cooking we go to mcdonalds, pizza hut, chinese etc. where is the harm? I know it hasn't killed me. I don't know what's in it but I do know it keeps her belly full and mine as well.
House proof your baby. Stop baby proofing your house. Stop letting youtube videos of dressers falling on your child scare you. You know what I noticed about all of that furniture in the videos? It was poorly made and bowing. It was also packed down with nick-nacks and a giant ass tube television from the 80s. Question. Why do you have an 80s style tv in your childs room? Why is your toddler, who just started to learn how to walk/climb, unsupervised in front of an 80s style tv on their rickety falling apart dresser? Excuse me, how is your child even watching tv? Tell me your secrets because the day my daughter sits still long enough to watch more than the mickey mouse club house theme song, is also the day I will start playing the lottery. Stop letting people tell you that when they crawl/walk you are in trouble. I will be damned if I am in trouble with my own child. I am the parent here. If she touches after the third time of telling her 'no' she is either getting removed from the situation or she is getting a good ol' fashioned pow-pow. (Ask my sister in law about the word. She started it for our family lol.) Besides from the obvious added pictures of my kid, there is not one thing in my house that has changed. We just don't baby proof. My kid knows how to open a water bottle, I am sure she would figure out real fast how to open a toilet lock, cabinet lock etc. Any parent can tell you, the only thing that entices a child more is knowing they can't get in it and they will figure out a way to try.
Same applies for socket covers. My friend's child tries to pull them out of the wall with his teeth. They are just screaming 'touch me!' Thankfully, my house has a safety breaker.(if anything is inserted, the shock emitted is similar to that of licking a 9v battery) Installing one of those is probably a safer and more practical approach vs enticing a child to pull something out.
Check their toes for sock strings, cosleep because its attached parenting, tie up cords, fasten down furniture, chest clip goes armpit level, ERF til my baby is 10(it's ok, she's flexible),
How attached do you want your child? Our daughter is up our butts enough as it is. I promise they are getting love. I promise they will love you even if you leave them to work during the day. I promise they are sleeping fine in their own bed. Stop being afraid of sids and start being afraid of those damn amber necklaces. How are you gonna tie up strings and lock down furniture and worry about their vertebrae being snapped if they forward face but yet bring upon their own demise due to some hippie holistic approach to teething/aches when its not even back by enough evidentiary support? What works is kisses and coffee and taking the long road like those before you. Parenting isn't supposed to be easy, it is supposed to be rewarding. You are supposed to set them free from the nest, not have them clinging to the tit when they are in their teens because of BLW(baby led weening). I'm sorry but who is the parent here? BLW sounds like an excuse for parents to keep their child not only attached, but also a hell of a lot like being lazy and scared for your tot to grow.
Basically, Here is what I have learned from the crunchy/hippie community thus far. They are the first one to point out your faults and make you feel like a shit bag of a parent. They push their 'holier than thou' parenting styles and are quick to jump to the defense when they break their own "rules."Always chastising and saying what's wrong with parents these days. Same question back at ya extreme crunchies. Why are you so hell bent on making sure people know exactly how you parent. Why can't you just parent without cramming your approach down everyone's throats? Well I'll tell you why. Because no parent actually loves being labeled crunchy. You boast about it on facebook but your sex life is null and void with a toddler up your ass in bed with you. You secretly let him/her eat non organic everything behind closed doors. You are tired of being 'perfect' but you still can't let up the facade.
Fast forward to baby number two and it's quite commical to see how they raise jr. Sure the cloth diapering may stick but thats about it. Stop trying to fit in to a label and be seen as amazing and just parent your child.
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