Hodgepodge of thoughts

I've got a hodgepodge of thoughts and feelings going on in my body right now. Let me just start out by saying that my daughter is growing like a weed now and the fact that she is actually smiling at only 3 weeks old scares the crap out of me. I'm not talking gas smiles here people. Like full on tickle-her-arm-pits smiles. And she is doing that baby talk thing which I swear she is way too young for yet.

I'm just going to leave this here for you to enjoy for a minute. 

I also have to say that in a week this girl is going to be a month old and finally get to meet her g-ma and her aunt and uncle. All of the above is super exciting and even I would smile at that. But seriously, her belly cord still hasnt fallen off and although it is no longer bleeding I am still concerned. It's already gross that I have to touch it, but a month of touching? Now that is going too far. Help me out here mommas. Is that normal?

Also, while we are on the topic of normal I have to address something I feel needs to be answered. Is it normal to plan half birthdays? A long time ago (two weeks to be exact) I was watching an old episode of the hit kids show "Arthur." The furry little aardvark was celebrating muffys half birthday and she got all half gifts. It reminded me how I've always wanted a half birthday. Mainly so I could get half of a baseball and know what was inside of it. Would it be crazy to start a tradition of celebrating half birthdays with my kid? That's probably totally crazy so please don't answer that question. But just in case you are for it, party at my house in five months!

I'm still having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that a month has flown by already. Not for the fact that my child is old, but for the fact that a month flew by without me working and just sitting at my house like a bum.

I am having a serious case of cabin fever here guys! I need some stimulation and freedom. I feel like I am tied down here. How do S.A.H moms do it? Where do the hours in your day go? I am sitting on the couch all day counting the hours until there is another human in the same room with me to be able to converse with. Someone other than Nugget. I ran to walmart Christmas night to get away for a minute by myself. I felt like a teenager sneaking out of the house. The fear and anxiety everyone said I would feel with leaving my child was definitely not there. I was free! Music was cranked up and a feeling of relief swept over me. I almost didn't want to go home. As terrible as it may sound, I contemplated sleeping in my mold ridden house with my furry kitty baby. Of course the feeling only lasted until I looked at my phone and saw my adorable daughter on my background. 

Lessons are being learned here in such a short amount of time. I need not be left alone with my thoughts. As much as I am enjoying staring at the life who came out of my body, I can not wait to get back to the real world. 

Sincerely,

Counting-the-days Mrs.