Times have changed.

A friend of mine recently posted a status on facebook about support and who is supposed to support who this day in age. She sparked quite a bit of curiosity in me because up until recently I haven't given it much thought. Josh and I took the pre-marital class and discussed the topic of who handles the money etc. etc. but we never discussed our feelings on support. What would happen once I enlisted and he was out of a job because we would no doubt be moving around?

Growing up I have watched my parents with their cute parent smooches and hugs. I have seen them purchase gifts for each other. I have seen my dad work his fannie off to be able to provide for our family. I was raised and taught that the man brings home the "bacon" and the wife is supposed to work but her main job is to cook and clean. The man always took on the "manly" jobs ie; mowing the lawn, trimming trees, drinking beer, gardening.

When I entered my senior year in high school, I found my first part-time job. Like every kid my age, I was ecstatic to be making money! I could finally buy the things that I wanted and drive wherever I chose because I was footing the gas for my guzzler. Also, when I decided (fresh out of high school) that I wanted to move out of my parents house and become independent I was double excited because I was bringing home my own "bacon" and providing for myself. I paid my bills on time and I never had to worry about some guy buying me flowers or candies. I didn't have to rely on him to come up with his half of the rent, or to pay for my gas because I could handle it all on my own!

That is, until Joshua came along. This guy showered me with gifts, rent money, gas money, electric bill money, and food. It was all a bit awkward you see because I am an independent woman. I don't rely on anyone to help me out. Heck! Christmas is even awkward for my parents to give me gifts. I just don't like the idea of taking something from someone without repaying them in some way. So when this guy showed up at my house and started living with me (I am sure there is more to it then that) I didn't know how to take it at first.

I was almost willing to let him live there for free. I think he had to help with food but other than that, I was gong to support him. Why not? I didn't see a thing wrong with that, and honestly, I really can not think of a good reason why anything is wrong with it now. Of course, he won't let me, but I don't mind working my fannie off to be able to provide for our house. So where do we stand? Who is supposed to support who?

So far, we are just at this mutual agreement that we both stock pile our money in to one account, divvy up some spending money and talk about any extra spending we may have/need to do. It works. It is simple. And yet I still have that problem when he has his spending money and buys me even a frosty from Wendy's.

Obviously, time's have changed. Women rights yadda yadda. Lazy/non-independent men. I had another good friend of ours bring up a point a while back; Today, you see more independent young ladies driving around "grown men" then you do men being the chivalrous young gentlemen like their father's before them. More ladies are bringing home the "bacon" while the male sits at home to do "woman's work" or take care of the kids. I think young ladies have just become so accustomed to the non-chivalrous lifestyle that when a good guy comes along they just don't know how to respond. Time's have changed so much that young ladies are just use to supporting themselves or even their family.

I guess what I am trying to say here is that I am thankful. I was blessed with a young man who was raised right. Sure, I may be the only one with a car and we may have had to work at obtaining his license for the first year, but when time's are hard, I am sure we will be the couple that survives because Josh is a respectable young man. He knows how to support the both of us in his own goofy way and he knows how to treat a lady right. You can't take him to a store without him holding a door open for a person behind him, or picking up something a woman has dropped.

It is okay (in my eyes) for a woman to want to support herself or her family That is her business. But if the opportunity arises that some strapping young fellow wants to respect her and follow "tradition" then by all means don't let him go. When something is broken, fix it. Do not throw anything away that can be salvaged because you are too lazy or scared.